I am most definitely NOT a glutton for punishment; in fact, my innate fear is the fear of pain (which I only discovered recently, more on that later). Rather, I’m a glutton for information. And, at times, chocolate. Let’s be real; ALL the time for chocolate.
But information. I crave it. I want to know all there is to know about all there is to know. Homeschooling my children is like a fairyland for me. (Pray for my children.) And I think this may in part explain why I’m your worst Myers-Briggs nightmare. I don’t just find out my personality type–or yours–and move on with life. I analyze, Google, discuss, read, process, and repeat ad nauseum. Except it’s not ad nauseum to me; it’s exhilarating. And (also recently discovered) an escape. From the aforementioned pain.
Don’t think I’m being all dramatic here. Pain for me isn’t some debilitating chronic illness or deep emotional trauma. Pain is having to pick my tush off the couch and sweep the floor or stop searching Zillow for new houses (even though we’re not moving) to fold clothes. Pain for me is the mundane, like housework, paperwork, errands, or any of the other numerous tasks that basically define the life of a mom with young kids. Or the life of anyone, for that matter. Somehow my personality type (ENFP — Enneagram Type 7) thinks work shouldn’t apply to me. Let me learn, read, discover, adventure, visit, travel, play….anything but work. I can work hard, but only if it’s something I actually want to do, and only as long as it remains enjoyable. The instant something feels tedious, I drop it like a rotten potato (I almost said egg, but that would be bad because it would pop and THEN where would we be? Not reading this post, which may or may not be a good thing….).
So, all this rambling leads me to three things: 1. I love to learn, and to share what I’ve learned, and to learn what other people have learned. Can be good, can be bad, mostly I just need to be aware of that as being unique to me. 2. I fear pain, which means I avoid anything that feels painful to me, like work. Or relationships that REQUIRE work, avoiding them and only gravitating to those naturally bosom-friend-types. 3. Anything worthwhile requires action, i.e. not just intake but output, i.e. WORK. And this blog is worthwhile. So here I am, working.